Nurse-in in response to Delta's error

I went to a nurse-in last week, as did many women around the country.

Here is a photo of my lovely friend Rosie with her baby peacefully snoozing in an Ergo Baby Carrier (which she bought from me - ugh - made the poor girl meet me at my daughter's music class and she had the darndest time finding the place, bless her).

This is not the first nurse-in I've been to. I've been to about four now.

When my older daughter was born, I was very, very shy to nurse in public. It took all my resources to actually manage it. At first, I made my husband go around with me and block my breasts from view with his body. Of course, I had a lot of issues and was using a fake plastic nipple to manage it at all. I literally jumped through hoops to get nursing to work. I suffered months of sore, cracked, bleeding nipples and paid out of pocket hundreds and hundreds of dollars in costs to a lactation consultant who finally got us going.

My initial goal, while pregnant, was to nurse for years. Once the baby was born, it dropped down to a day by day thing. Eventually, we got through the rough patch and little by little, I was able to get attached again to my daughter nursing long-term. She did.

Anyway, I developed a fierceness which helped embolden me to nursing in public. As I educated myself about nursing and about my rights, I did get a sort of, "Yeah, just you try and say something, buddy," kind of attitude. Luckily for the world, no one ever did. Sometimes, I saw someone try to catch my eye and when I made eye contact, it was to get a wink, nod, smile, or thumbs-up. Gradually, I lost my defensiveness. But I never forgot the promise I made to myself. I told myself that if anyone ever said anything about my right to nurse where I was, I'd show up the next day with 20 women in tow, all ready to stand for our right to nurse. Or, actually, more for our baby's right to be nursed. It's not actually my desire to nurse. I'd still prefer to keep that as private and discreet as possible. It's really, for me, about my baby's needs.

So anyway, when I started going to nurse-ins, I had a fresh vigor and enthusiasm. I thought, yeah, this'll do it. After we go stand strong for this, well, all set then! The people of this country will come to realize what I've realized and all will be okay going forward.

Sadly, I've lost some of that freshness. I still go to nurse-ins. It's still important. But I have lost the patina but not the knowledge of how important it is to help educate people. I'll share a story that I am not proud of, but it's true and honest.

I was working in a downtown of a major city before I had kids, out for a lunch-time walk on a brisk, sunny day. I passed a Starbuck's and saw a mom nursing her baby in the window. I was stunned, shocked, repulsed, horrified, offended. It's a little tricky to get back into the headspace I was in in those days, but I believe I felt it was a sexual act. No one in my cirles ever seems to identify with this feeling. It seems they all showed up on the planet enlightened. I did not. While I had no issue with the fact that she was breastfeeding, I did not think it was something to flaunt. I was offended that she was sitting in the window for all to see.

Have I done the very same thing myself hundreds of time since? You bet!

So, I'd like most to reach the me of back then - the single working woman, shocked by openly public nursing a baby - and help her realize a few things.

Nursing is not a deviant act. It is something the baby needs, just like breathing. The mom does not do it for her own pleasure. A baby can never be forced to nurse. Nursing can be very discreet. Nursing older babies and toddlers helps them maintain a strong connection to their mother, the rock of their world, and grow into strong, balanced, independent people.

There is no easy way to prove all this with words, but look at the peaceful mama in the photo. Look at her baby, contentedly asleep against her, having just had a discreet nursing session.Life is so much easier and natural when mamas and babies travel as a unit and nurse whenever, wherever baby needs.